For the record, I am a strong proponent of retro games. While I’m not the sadist that wishes today’s young gamers the grief and pain that we endured with no game saves, one-hit deaths, and a limited storyline, I do believe that there is a certain charm to these games. The majority of the early arcade games required skills not found in a lot of today’s games. The level of pattern memorization and patience was key to a lot of those games found in the arcade rooms of yesteryear.

 

That being said, retro game downloads are a waste of money.

The Xbox Game Room will never replace the feel of the old arcades. The XBLA retro downloads have breathed life back into those old stale games that little Johnny or Jane played as a kid. Being completely honest, nobody I know plays those games for more than 5 to 10 minutes, tops. Compared to the games we have to play today, those old games are merely throwaways that most of the time lead you to exclaim, “Why did I just pay 5 dollars for Arkanoid?” I was suckered into buying Galaga on XBLA, so I share that resentment with a few of you. Xbox got me… and it wasn’t only once. I honestly hated myself after I bought Root Beer Tapper and played it for 5 minutes. The people at XBLA are certified con artists out for a quick buck.

If you are planning to retro game, I compel you to stay away from those downloadable games and pick up the original versions for the respected classic console and play them that way. A good reason for that is because a lot of these downloadable games are stripped of their original music, stripped of their soul and stripped of their spirit that made these games classic in the first place. If you don’t have the means to go bargain bin diving, Midway, Taito, Capcom, Sega and a slew of others offer their classic games in bundled collection packs. I’d buy those before buying another downloadable game.

Another thing Xbox is failing to realize is that these original games were, in fact, quarter dumps. Downloadable games on Xbox take away from a classic arcade game’s true creation. Case in point: When I bought and downloaded Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from XBLA, I was finished with it “lickety-split.” I remember back in the days of yore never being able to finish that game. When I actually did beat the XBLA version I felt nothing. Had I beat it back in the day, the level of joy and accomplishment would have been the greatest sensation I had felt in all of my ten years. The same goes for Golden Axe, Double Dragon and Altered Beast.

In conclusion, Xbox is looking for a money grab. Tricking the consumer into thinking they are getting a feel of the old school arcade is part of their perfect con. Con artists play on their victims’ sympathies and emotions. Toying with old school gamers who spent tons and tons of money pumping quarters into arcade cabinets in malls and game rooms, all across the U.S. and abroad, is downright sick!

Do I want that old arcade feel? Yes. Is Microsoft going to give it to me? No. Yes, I will tool around with Game Room. Heck, I may even have fun with it. But please, Xbox, don’t try to trick me into thinking this is my old school arcade. Besides, you can’t give me that old arcade feel without a creepy janitor walking around eyeballing everyone. That’s something that Microsoft points just can’t buy.