As 2012 comes to a close, I think it is time to say good-bye to some fictional characters that we have lost this year. Let’s face it, so many fictional characters died this year that we will ring in 2013 a worse world. So grab your darkest suit and your shades and come with us as we talk the top ten fictional character deaths of 2012. Spoilers ahead.
Number 10: Agent Phil Coulsen (The Avengers) Although we never see him actually die, (Goes into a non-responsive state as paramedics arrive) Coulsen’s last words give the Avenger Initiative the motive to avenge. This humble agent was the good shepard that was able to not only recruit the Avengers but also galvanize them into a team following his death, but then again it could all be a Nick Fury scheme to get the Avengers to work together.
Number 9: Roland (Borderlands 2) His death came as a surprise to many Vault Hunters, and why Roland did not just reappear at a New-U Station is beyond me. As the leader of the Crimson Raiders, Roland did a fine job of rallying the troops and banging Lilith. He is survived by his Scorpio Turret that deploys for 20 seconds and cools down for a 100.
Number 8: Commander Shepard (Mass Effect 3) The real Commander Shepard died in Mass Effect 2. The “thing” that died in Mass Effect 3 was an Indoctrinated Cerberus abomination, but die it did. Once the shit hit the fan and by fan I mean fans, Bioware went on a PR blitz to try and salvage the shitstorm caused by the ending. In the end Shepard may or may not be dead, but we all know Shepard was never the same after James Vega and Major Kaiden Alenko put the moves on him.
Number 7: Mike Ehrmantraut (Breaking Bad) Mike whose name means “honest, trusted, man” in German, was such an awesome character on the show. He saved Jesse from destroying himself and never backed down from Walt. Mike proved once and for all that not all old people are senile and useless. He was a true professional and I don’t want to ruin his perfectly good death so I’ll “Shut the fuck up and let him die in peace”.
Number 6: Lori Grimes (TheWalking Dead on AMC) Has there ever been a more gut retching death on TV before? I think all Walking Dead fans felt sick for weeks after the episode aired. It felt like someone in your own family had died. That is a great credit to the writers of the show and to the actress that plays Lori. This was definitely one of the saddest fictional deaths this year and one that fans will not forget for a long time.
Number 5: Batman (The Dark Knight Rises) I’m telling you he is dead. I just re-watched the movie and with 5 seconds left they cut to Batman sitting in the cockpit of the Bat-plane, now let us talk about how an auto-pilot works, it flies the aircraft when there is no pilot. Let us also say that it is the fastest ejection at just one second to eject Brucey safely into the sky, that leaves Brucey 4 seconds to get away from the blast. Let us now say Brucey has an ejection seat that can travel at the speed of an SR 71 Blackbird at a theoretical speed of 2500 mph. With 4 seconds left he would be 2.8 miles away when the 4 megaton bomb goes off. Brucey would be instantly consumed by a fireball so hot that not even the Joker would smile. Nolan’s version of Jesus has also joined his father, in death.
Number 4: Lee Everett (The Walking Dead by Telltale Games) “Clementine!”, I vividly remember actually being super pissed when Lee Everett was bitten by a walker. I started to scream, “No! No, no, not Lee!”. Lee is a memorable character in a memorable game and I only wish he could of survived.
Number 3: Cortana (Halo 4) One thing we know for sure about Master Chief is he makes girls promises he cant keep. Cortana has been a staple of the Halo series for the past decade, so big credit to 343 for doing what no fan thought they would do, kill Cortana. We will miss her condescending tone and the fact that she behaved like Tinker Bell with a cougar complex.
Number 2: Glenn (The Walking Dead Comic #100) The Walking Dead comic book is where it happened. Our favorite non alpha-male in a non leading role for a minority character is now dead. The cause of death? A baseball bat named Lucille being held by a lunatic named Negan. Glen is survived by his girl Maggie and their unborn child, his fake daughter Sophia and millions of fans.
Number 1: Peter Parker (Amazing Spider-Man Comic #700) Peter Parker is dead, but Spider-Man the actual body is still alive. It is kinda hard to explain but Doc Ock managed to switch bodies with Peter Parker in a last ditch effort to get out of his dying body. In the process Peter Parker dies in Doc Ock’s body and Doc Ock has a change of heart and decides to carry on the work of Spider-Man. No word on if he will also bang Mary Jane as well.
So those are my ten, did I miss any? What are yours? Please leave a comment and thanks for reading.