Well it's been a week or so since i played this beauty. I thought my roomate had returned the game to blockbuster but when i turned on my xbox to play some Just Cause 2 i found to my delight that he had forgotten the game inside of my xbox.

So like a good friend I will tell him that it hasn't been returned and he is facing late charges at blockbuster.... After I Play it a few hours of course

Well after about 6 hours of gameplay the paradigm element really comes into play. I have to switch off of all attack and get a healer to stop from dying in regular fights. I really enjoy how the game seems to be ramping up at a perfect pace.

Hmm I got my first gestalt skill its these to girls that slightly les out and turn into a motor bike. As bizzare as that sounds I do have to point out that the motor bike is mega rad looking. It's all that white plastic metal lookin stuff that they used in sci fi movies from the seventies. Like hyper detailed retro-futurism.

More importantly than all that Snow gets knocked out by a girl AGAIN. But it was a bad ass karate chop in the side of the face and if you know me you know that I love  a good karate chop. Especially facial Karate chops.

Alright the game is slowing down on new stuff and either your already playing the game and discovering everything for yourself or your just a terrible person who reads posts about awesome video games and then doesn't play them. Shame on you.

Well my bubble has finally popped. I got my first battle rating that was less than five stars. It occurred at 4:27 of game time. Which I am quite flabbergasted at the length of time I was battling so well. They say no-one is perfect but apparently I was... well for 4 hours and 27 minutes that is.

In other news I am falling in love with this game more and more every time I play it. I just took the time to master the paradigm battle mechanic and developed 6 different strategies for my team to battle under... Still really haven't used any other one that "Relentless Assault" which is were your leader attacks an enemy and your two lackeys focus on the same guy. Apparently this can be pretty effect ie that 4:27 minutes of perfection I mentioned before. Although I did switch to a defensive strategy for a boss. It was quite neat one character heals and one defends the other two while your main character attacks.

Also in riveting news developments I am over the fact that the playable character is a girl. Seeing her dominate the thug character has upped her toughness. She is the perfect amount bitch and stoic loner. The only problem is I'm probably going to have to sit through that bullshit character development angle where they show the tough character softening. Well it can't be any worse than the way that stripper witch handled it with the child and her repressed memories in Bayonetta. Final Fantasy has finally given us a strong heroic girl character I can root for without feeling like a 15 year old boy with a hard on. Super bonus theres no vanilla soft spoken love interest like all the others. I always saw myself going for the outspoken loud girls in the party.

If my reassurance can alleviate your pain then here goes. You have all probably read how the tutorials in this game last to about the 20 hour mark. It's ok. It's not annoying in fact those geniuses figured out a way to stretch the learning process out perfectly. You still get to fight enemies and progress through the story but they don't overload you. It's done so well that you never feel like your missing something or there isn't enough for to keep you mentally into the game. 

By the way Final Fantasy 13 is awesome. Game of the year awesome.

Ok I was going to wait until I was done playing before I started to write my next post. Upon re-reading the first post I realized that while I'm playing if I write while the game is paused I rush it and it appears to have been written by a thirteen year old.

I actually made it about 20 minutes of not posting while playing but then I noticed something that I could not avoid.

Where the fuck does that rad wolf design on the back of Snow's bitchin leather jacket go. I mean I'm fighting shit and punching those panternonz right in dem grill pieces and I look like a bonafied bad ass mother fucker. Then the battle ends and it's back to drabsville plain trenchcoat and thug toque. Ho hum. I would just be way more ok with running around this technological maze if I could stare at the bitchin visage. 

So I decided I would not pick up Dead Space again. It was far too un-awesome to ignore this next title for any longer.

Final Fantasy Thirteen (I feel I have to write it out like that because if I don't it makes me think its FFX part 3. Which would have been awesome I loved ten and ten-2 but i really really do not need to hear any more crying about the dress spheres. I loved them everyone else hated them end of story.)

I really am not going to bother writing anything till after I am done the first main chunk of tutorial. 

So I am trying dead space. Guess I am a little bit late to the party and no-one really is expecting anything new on the game since its been out over a year. But if I were to stop writing when it's painfully obvious no one was interested what kind of blogger would I be.

My first impression of the game is that I am going to loose out because I am playing through a monitor and have no sound... Which I have heard is pretty good for the game. It's a good thing my Itunes is fully stocked with creepy space video game music so I'll let Jack Wall and Sam Hulick take care of me with the score for Mass Effect one. Which is pretty much the best soundtrack to any video game ever. Like ever ever. Plus their both about space and killing creepy things so it should fit.

My second thought is what the fuck is with this shitty camera. This game might turn me into one of those little bitches that cries about 3d games giving them motion sickness. How have I never heard about this. In an industry rampant with reviewers ready to garbage an entire game because of the camera why did this get left out. I better get used to this or this whole floating laggy camera soon.

I promise Dark Void will make your life better. I'm a bit late coming to the table on this one and I have absolutely no excuse good enough to explain that. 

I played the demo so I knew I would like. The fact that the team behind Crimson Skies mad the game was a good hint it was going to be great as well. After all Crimson Skies is the greatest action flyer I've ever played.

I was actually lamenting that I hadn't seen any successor to the X-Box gem but after I played the demo for Dark Void I knew my prayers had been answered. And don't worry they made up for the waiting with tonnes of features. Not only is there awesome flying but there is a great 3rd person shooting aspect to the game with a new inventive cover vertical cover mechanic to go along with your fancy jet machine gun equipped jet pack. 

The combination of flying and shooter is meshed so well that fun level is practically through the roof. I put the game in to see what it was like with no real intentions of delving in too deeply yet. That was five and a half hours ago and I'm not stopping yet--well other than to urge you to play this fine fine game.

I watched my room mate play the demo for just cause 2 for about a minute before i decided i would by the game. He latched onto a guy with his grappling hook then a canister of air and the guy went flying. Then he latched onto a car and reeled himself onto it and rode on the hood then the bumper while shooting the guys in the car. Oh and  if your still not running full speed directly towards wal-mart where this gameis on an amazing two day sale for 39.99 theres a re-deployable parachute! If your still not convinced your a terrible derelict of a person and don't deserve to play video games because you have no right to have fun

I've been playing this game for about an hour and have already decided that it's going to suck up many many of my daylight hours and i will be ecstatic for everyone of them. The best thing I've done so far is I grappled a statue to my hummer hopped in my hummer and pulled the statue down. I then grappled a guy and pulled him around the street through the rubble until he stopped squirming. After that I grappled the head of the statue to my hummer and pulled it around the streets smashing trees fences plants and other cars without discrimination it's been truly glorious. 

Oh and the game gives you in game monetary awards for blowing shit up. Now try to push that boner down back into your pants and go buy this already. You don't want to sit around while i'm having more fun that you do you? DO YOU?

I know the focus groups at EA regarding Battlefield Bad Company 2 have probably been called off for a while now but I can't help hoping they hear my plea of complete despair.

I know EA is in touch with their audience and that is why they keep releasing rad awesome games. If the company is so in touch how could they make the over sight of turning off their servers at midnight on a Friday night. I just went bonkers. How could they do this to me.

I know it wasn't really some sort of passive aggressive attack on my personal happiness and over all mental stability but then why does it sting so much. Midnight on a Friday night seems like the optimal time to go get owned by someone 12 years younger than me. I could have just lied and told you i owned people but in fact the truth is i still constantly get power owned maybe even turbo owned but that doesn't bother me i still like the game. 

Maybe I should be out undertaking irresponsible activities like drinking in da club or trying to have un-protected sex. Yes only trying. Is that what you want EA, really. Should i shuck better judgment and go out into the night since you won't have me. Should I shuck my better judgement and have a sort of life since my man cave is stark and empty without your loving online embrace.

Feelings of anger and confusion. Don't fix something that ain't broke. It's a tired old cliche saying that everyone agrees might be used too much. Well apparently it needs to be used a couple more times because it's like Bio-Ware never heard this before. There was a general industry wide bitching about the graphics and the controls of the shooting elements in the first game. This was a bit broken and it would make sense for Bio-Ware to fix this to make the game even better and more enjoyable. What doesn't make sense is to strip the game of the deep RPG aspects and aim at a more 'action' experience. Dear Bio-Ware please look at other successful titles out on the X-Box 360. They all have one thing in common. RPG elements win. With the surprise success (not to me) of Borderlands it is even more of a glaring mistake to take out the gear whoring aspects of the game. And the skill developement *weep* 6 upgradable elements aren't nearly enough. What happened to gun proficiency? What happened to unlocking gun skills? Powers? Combat Training? Now I have to make a decision between do I want better attack power with more health and increased defenses or do I want better team healing? How is this even a debate thats a complete no brainer. Your causing yourself a great deal of strife if you don't improve in the best three ways possible at once. Couldn't you at least split those first three up so I can trick myself into thinking I am developing a character on a path I want. Now for the hug in this rant. I can't say love enough times to make my statement powerful enough to express my feelings towards the inclusion of outfit customization. Any time someone suggests to add customized visuals to a game that guy gets a fucking raise. Without that guy I can't run around with my handlebar mustache and hot pink space suit. Duke Sheppard you really are a fetching fellow. Over all I like the game. I like it through a furrowed brow and a butthurt anger that seethes every time I have to "level up" from experience I didn't earn. I realize I am still very early in the game and have a fully prepared face diaper because there better be something here to make me shit my mind.

This game is to video games what Showgirls is to movies. It's terrible. It's worse than BMX XXX. But the absolute worst part about this game is that if it didn't have the preteen porn it would be amazing. I'm sorry I can't look past the imbecilic T'n'A factor of this game. Yes the combo system is awesome. Yes the story is above average. Finally yes I do feel bad inside for playing this game. The only reason I am playing it is because blockbuster ran out of copies of Darksiders. Also if I play on mute and skip every single dog shit cut scene I think I might be able to power through it and somehow squeeze ten dollars worth of game playing out of it. I currently pretend I am playing another installment of Devil May Cry after all it is the same director (Hideki Kamiya) as the first Devil May Cry game. It's not that hard to visualize because the game goes so far as to have the same menu tones as devil may cry and the same combat system--which for the record is one of my favorites to date. I am baffled that this game is getting Perfect scores all over the map. The cut screen graphics are abysmal and although the enemy design is good you end up fighting about a thousand of the same pion before you end up fighting a different one. That's the guy with the blue smock. But the cherub faced mini-bosses are a good fresh look on enemies. The good guy character design is absolute garbage. First of all the main character Bayonetta looks like Lulu from FFX mixed with sailor moon and then jerked off all over by some 13 year old basement dweller. Then theres your two main npc companions who look like a fat Joe Pesci wearing a bowler hat and a rain slicker and Blade if he wore a suede over coat that was three sizes too small. A hint for the team in the future is how bout instead of spending an embarrassing amount of time on Bayonetta's ass you make a shop keeper who isn't a ten minute throwaway ten minute place holder. Usually I am a fan of camp and enjoy some ridiculousness in all my entertainment. When it's thinly veiled pornography dressed up as slapstick it doesn't pass. I didn't like when Sindel hit shit with her hair and my opinion hasn't really changed since. Especially when the girls outfit is made of her magical hair that apparently looks like a PVC suit and she gets more naked the bigger her combos get. As a gamer I have always defended playing games and insisting that it's not a mark of immaturity and games aren't built just for little boys with smelly hard-ons who can't bring themselves to talk to women in real life. Not anymore. It looks like I am going to hide this game cover for the short while it's in my possession. Of course I have to admit that some people aren't going to have a problem with this game and that they don't see anything wrong with it but at the same time I have to admit that some people don't see anything wrong with furries and having sex dressed up as mascots. Wanna touch me?