I know the focus groups at EA regarding Battlefield Bad Company 2 have probably been called off for a while now but I can't help hoping they hear my plea of complete despair.

I know EA is in touch with their audience and that is why they keep releasing rad awesome games. If the company is so in touch how could they make the over sight of turning off their servers at midnight on a Friday night. I just went bonkers. How could they do this to me.

I know it wasn't really some sort of passive aggressive attack on my personal happiness and over all mental stability but then why does it sting so much. Midnight on a Friday night seems like the optimal time to go get owned by someone 12 years younger than me. I could have just lied and told you i owned people but in fact the truth is i still constantly get power owned maybe even turbo owned but that doesn't bother me i still like the game. 

Maybe I should be out undertaking irresponsible activities like drinking in da club or trying to have un-protected sex. Yes only trying. Is that what you want EA, really. Should i shuck better judgment and go out into the night since you won't have me. Should I shuck my better judgement and have a sort of life since my man cave is stark and empty without your loving online embrace.

Feelings of anger and confusion. Don't fix something that ain't broke. It's a tired old cliche saying that everyone agrees might be used too much. Well apparently it needs to be used a couple more times because it's like Bio-Ware never heard this before. There was a general industry wide bitching about the graphics and the controls of the shooting elements in the first game. This was a bit broken and it would make sense for Bio-Ware to fix this to make the game even better and more enjoyable. What doesn't make sense is to strip the game of the deep RPG aspects and aim at a more 'action' experience. Dear Bio-Ware please look at other successful titles out on the X-Box 360. They all have one thing in common. RPG elements win. With the surprise success (not to me) of Borderlands it is even more of a glaring mistake to take out the gear whoring aspects of the game. And the skill developement *weep* 6 upgradable elements aren't nearly enough. What happened to gun proficiency? What happened to unlocking gun skills? Powers? Combat Training? Now I have to make a decision between do I want better attack power with more health and increased defenses or do I want better team healing? How is this even a debate thats a complete no brainer. Your causing yourself a great deal of strife if you don't improve in the best three ways possible at once. Couldn't you at least split those first three up so I can trick myself into thinking I am developing a character on a path I want. Now for the hug in this rant. I can't say love enough times to make my statement powerful enough to express my feelings towards the inclusion of outfit customization. Any time someone suggests to add customized visuals to a game that guy gets a fucking raise. Without that guy I can't run around with my handlebar mustache and hot pink space suit. Duke Sheppard you really are a fetching fellow. Over all I like the game. I like it through a furrowed brow and a butthurt anger that seethes every time I have to "level up" from experience I didn't earn. I realize I am still very early in the game and have a fully prepared face diaper because there better be something here to make me shit my mind.

This game is to video games what Showgirls is to movies. It's terrible. It's worse than BMX XXX. But the absolute worst part about this game is that if it didn't have the preteen porn it would be amazing. I'm sorry I can't look past the imbecilic T'n'A factor of this game. Yes the combo system is awesome. Yes the story is above average. Finally yes I do feel bad inside for playing this game. The only reason I am playing it is because blockbuster ran out of copies of Darksiders. Also if I play on mute and skip every single dog shit cut scene I think I might be able to power through it and somehow squeeze ten dollars worth of game playing out of it. I currently pretend I am playing another installment of Devil May Cry after all it is the same director (Hideki Kamiya) as the first Devil May Cry game. It's not that hard to visualize because the game goes so far as to have the same menu tones as devil may cry and the same combat system--which for the record is one of my favorites to date. I am baffled that this game is getting Perfect scores all over the map. The cut screen graphics are abysmal and although the enemy design is good you end up fighting about a thousand of the same pion before you end up fighting a different one. That's the guy with the blue smock. But the cherub faced mini-bosses are a good fresh look on enemies. The good guy character design is absolute garbage. First of all the main character Bayonetta looks like Lulu from FFX mixed with sailor moon and then jerked off all over by some 13 year old basement dweller. Then theres your two main npc companions who look like a fat Joe Pesci wearing a bowler hat and a rain slicker and Blade if he wore a suede over coat that was three sizes too small. A hint for the team in the future is how bout instead of spending an embarrassing amount of time on Bayonetta's ass you make a shop keeper who isn't a ten minute throwaway ten minute place holder. Usually I am a fan of camp and enjoy some ridiculousness in all my entertainment. When it's thinly veiled pornography dressed up as slapstick it doesn't pass. I didn't like when Sindel hit shit with her hair and my opinion hasn't really changed since. Especially when the girls outfit is made of her magical hair that apparently looks like a PVC suit and she gets more naked the bigger her combos get. As a gamer I have always defended playing games and insisting that it's not a mark of immaturity and games aren't built just for little boys with smelly hard-ons who can't bring themselves to talk to women in real life. Not anymore. It looks like I am going to hide this game cover for the short while it's in my possession. Of course I have to admit that some people aren't going to have a problem with this game and that they don't see anything wrong with it but at the same time I have to admit that some people don't see anything wrong with furries and having sex dressed up as mascots. Wanna touch me?

Traditionally for whatever reason christmas has always meant heavy gaming. For what ever reason you always end up with some downtime. Either its too cold out or your just sick of listening to your mom talk about how people you graduated with are more successful than you but whatever your excuse you end up alone in front of the TV. Christmas is the perfect time to discover some new titles that you were waiting for as a gift from that rad family member who knows who is intune with your wants and not your needs. I still remember very fondly the year the i discovered original Halo. It blew my mind. I hadn't really gotten back into FPS's since Perfect Dark and after that christmas i was all in. Adversely it is also a good time to finish some game that you might have started and then neglected for shinier prizes. This is the route I decided to go this year but instead of something recent I took a time machine 16 years to the past and played Shinning Force with the help of Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection. For one reason or another I have always looked back at this game with fondness and rose tinted fading memories. And it was all justified. There must be something about cartoon graphics and RPG's it just seems to fit. I can loose days to these and not really notice but for some reason the newer 3d super graphic mega complex RPG's wear me out after a few hours. It might be nostalgia or just my old age but i haven't managed to cram through 21 hours of gameplay in 3 days in quite some time. Of course it could boil down to my first salient point and I could have just had nothing better to do. That or all the rum.

well as you may have noticed there have been no mass effect posts in a while. Mike's x-box red ringed and his hard drive had my save game on it. Through happenstance and pure luck my brother roasted his hard drive but not his x-box so he bought a new one and gave me his old one after we got drunk and took it apart to figure out what was wrong. We were not able to fix it or actually put it back together properly. We didn't figure out it was the hard drive until the next day when we tried to put it on his new arcade. We are total tards. But i got an x-box again and i need some rpg crack to tide me over. Even though Mass Effect is a very good game re-playing the first 2 hours makes me want to repeatedly hit myself in the mouth with my controller. Since i don't need my teeth anymore crooked I started playing lost odyssey again instead. That game is complete total awesome buuuut its complete total molasses awesome so i got bpred and switched to sacred 2. I have a loot whore boner for that game and don't really see anything taking its spot as a rad time chewing rpg. Maybe border lands but that doesn't have armor and outfits quite like sacred. I can honestly say Sacred 2 is the best action RPG I've played since Champions of Norath. And even though Too Human was pretty fun the lack of variance in the items and how the bad guys all looked the same makes it a distant second. If you feel like helping me out I and the Dryad that keeps dying trying to kill that shitty colossus.

Lately I have been shitting my mind in anticipation for Modern Warfare 2's arrival in just under a month. It's delicious FPS promises have my dreams dancing with multiplayer sugarplums. It has fill my mind and blanked all other upcoming releases. Until I just realized Halo 3: ODST comes out in about a week and a half.

http://xbox360.ign.com/dor/objects/852871/bungie-project-2/videos/haloodst_trl_liveactionextended_90809.html

Watch this video and join me in Halo Fanboyism.

I don't care what any hater says Halo rules all. Halo has always ruled and I am seriously reconsidering my modern warfare two hype... condsidering if i even care at all anymore. Sure Trey Arch and Infinity ward have made titles that compete with Bungy's dominance and the greatness of Halo 3 but the thing is Modern Warfare and World at War both came out after Halo 3. Bungy hasn't answered their challenge. To this day there are still things that the call of duty IP can't compete with when it comes to halo. No split screen Live Play. No smooth but end instead of a jenky knife that misses more than it hits but most of all nothing that comes close to a Wart Hog in sheer radness.

What could we be instore for. Will this grab any halo fans that might have fallen by the wayside with Halo Wars. I can't wait.

Sure this isn't really a stand alone title or an expansion pack its more like a halo 3.5 but really more halo story is all I need. Halo has the best campaign mode of any FPS it's untouchable. The multiplayer's only downbringing is its too hard because power nerds are too good and its just frustrating. This will be exactly what the doctor orders before i yet again play another uninteresting call of duty story mode.

There was a quote I read somewhere about journeying through life. It read something along the lines of "the quickest route between two points is a straight line". I think the over all ideal the person who wrote that quote was trying to say was some bullshit about tackling your dreams head on and not going about it in a round about way. I have new quote for you "the quickest route between two points is anywhere you fucking drive in that beautiful and amazing 6 wheeled piece of machinery".

Alright it might not be the quickest but it is definitely the most bad-rad-ass way to go about it. For the record I have been on some snow covered planet trying to find a downed spaceship with a clue on where to go with the story or some other thing like that. Suffice to say I gave up along time ago and am just getting sweet air. 

Far and away one of the best elements of mass effect is the stellar (snap) voice actors that are put to work in this game. Seth Green, mila kunitz which is kind of bad because she is the most annoying character in the game and has directly lowered her on the do-ability scale in real life, that guy from aliens who says "look into my eye" (no-one knows his name but we all agree he is fucking bad ass). And Deanna Troy who as little sci-fi whelps I am wagering we all had a wee crush on. We all were very green with envy as we imagine that fucking bearded number one with that confident smirk as she was giving him a hand job and reading his feelings. Well she is in Mass effect as some elderly female alien that had turned evil and is helping the main badguy. Funny thing is even though she's old and evil and you end up killing her... I want to do her a bit. I mean she has massive massive cleavage. You can almost see her nipples for christ sake.

Is it wrong that I find blue cleavage ever so titillating (snap again)