For the last couple of months, I've been stretching my brain to its limits. I am not sure why it took me so long to settle on a main idea and theme for my very own TAG editorial, but it was a tiring process that I was never satisfied with. Last night, I struck the proverbial nail on the head when I started thinking about Game of the Year articles, my favorite games, 2010, and all kinds of other stuff.

Here's the idea behind my editorial:

My name is Clifford Bakehorn III, a.k.a. "Cliff the Third". As a reviewer and a generally vocal, expressive, and critical person, I feel like I strongly value my own opinion. I'm passionate about my own ideas; my opinion is essentially "The Final Word" as far as video games and my other interests are concerned. I quickly put the two together, and my editorial woes were finally over: "The Word of the Third" was created.

In each "Word of the Third" (WOTT), I will address three different gaming-related things and connect them or compare them or otherwise discuss how they are related in some way, and it's going to be full of opinions, blasphemy, and outlandish statements that you'll want to flame the crap out of me for in the comments section. That's fine - that's why that section exists, for you to use! I was lucky enough to be blessed with a lacking attention span, so I'll only be motivated enough to respond to the best counter-arguments and challenges that you throw at me.

In the first WOTT, I'm going to introduce the feature in detail and give you a preview of what I'm thinking about for the next one. That's the first part of the Word. The second part of the Word will address 2009, my thoughts about it in its entirety, and my opinion about Game of the Year shenanigans. The final part of the Word will look ahead to 2010, and I'll fill you in with my demands from the industry - realistic, unrealistic, and out-of-this-world demands, all included.

I'm not sure if I'll write WOTT every week, bi-weekly, or in some random order that can't be predicted. I plan to have fun with this, and I hope that you enjoy it as a new feature on TAG. I am really impressed by some of my fellow writers on this staff and I'm jealous of the voice that they've created through their work. I'd like to join those ranks and say more about the "hobby" - I'd say "passion" - that has been a part of my life for as long as I've known how to press the A button.

 

Thanks for checking out the blog, and I sincerely hope you enjoy The Word of the Third #1: Introduction, Reflection, Speculation...or have something to bitch about in the comments section! ;)

 

-Cliff "Skate" Bakehorn III

"Peggle."

The first thing I thought when I heard of Peggle was, "What the fuck is Peggle?"

In the early months of 2009, it seemed like Peggle was the most popular thing in the world - at least for those in the TAG community. I felt like Peggle was pretty common in discussion amongst the members of this site, and I didn't get it.

Months later, I had some spare MS Points laying around and I decided to invest in Peggle.

 

Best decision of 2009? Certainly.

Best decision of my life? Maybe.

 

I'm going to be completely honest with you. Considering all of the games I've ever reviewed, played, rented, seen, or even given the time of day, I've never loved a game like I love Peggle.

 

To me, Peggle is:

-the most exciting game I've played, ever.

-the best multiplayer game I've played, ever.

-the best game to play intoxicated, ever.

-the best video game to use as a drinking game, ever.

-the only game I'd buy again just because it's a handheld version, even if it's twice as expensive (Peggle: Dual Shot is $20; Peggle on XBLA is $10), ever.

-easily my favorite game of 2009. (Ever?)

 

But...is Peggle really the BEST game of 2009?

 

I think that you have to be careful when you start considering the "bests" of any year / decade, and that has been the gaming media's hottest trend for the last couple of weeks. People are throwing around their "Best Game of the Decade" choices like they're red-headed stepchildren in a drunken midget-toss contest. I don't think that it's as easy to pin down one game, so I always break it up into three categories. I saw Deschain do this in a topic on the TAG forums.

I think there is always room for a "best", "most important", and "favorite" game of any year. I believe the true "Game of the Year" for any one person is the last of those three. Your favorite game of any year should be your personal Game of the Year, period. Peggle falls into that category for me.

 

Best? Modern Warfare 2.

Most important? Uncharted 2.

 

I don't need to go over it all for you. You've probably played Peggle if you're reading this, so you know how exciting it is to get an Extreme Fever and hear that crazy ass song start playing in the background. When I introduce my friends to this game, they never predict that tune blasting out of the speakers, and the thrill on their faces is priceless. I always tell them, "You'll never forget your first time."

 

It's true. I will forget my departure with virginity long before I forget my first Peggle experience.

 

Peggle is the greatest game of 2009, and it makes a strong statement as my favorite game of the entire decade. It isn't the best, it isn't the most important - it's just my favorite, and I could give a rat's ass about anything else at this point.

 

 

P.S. Just to throw a wrench in the gears and start some controversy, these are some other little "awards" I'd like to hand out to the games of 2009:

The Game That's So Overrated That it Hurts to Include it in a Game of the Year Editorial
inFAMOUS

The Game All the "Cool Kids" Will Label Game of the Year So They Don't Have to Conform
Batman: Arkham Asylum

The Game That's Proof That it's Sad No One Respects Indie Games
Dishwasher: Dead Samurai

The Game That Should Have Quit When It Was Ahead
Brutal Legend

The Game That Everyone Knew Would Suck, No One Cared About, and They Were Right
Tony Hawk Ride

The Fallout 3 Award for the Game I Hate and Everyone Else Loves
Borderlands

The Most Tragically Overlooked Game From a Respected Franchise
Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

The Most Tragically Overhyped New IP That Never Could Have Lived Up to its Name
Scribblenauts

The Game With the Best Mini-Game That Kept Me From Playing the Actual Game
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

The Game That I Never Thought I'd Love So Much, But I Couldn't Stop Playing
Red Faction: Guerrilla

The Most Improved Game Award for 2009
Madden NFL 10

I'm an Achievement fiend. I'm not really the type to play games like Avatar: The Last Airbender and I never farmed King Kong for all of its Gamerpoints back in the early days of the Xbox 360, but I truly love unlocking Achievements. I think that the idea of Achievements innovated the Xbox 360 more than many of its qualities, and I think that it's too bad the PlayStation 3 is so inconsistent with its similar Trophies idea. Achievements have pushed me further through games that I would have otherwise given up on. They have caused me to go out of my way to do off-the-wall challenges and they've even forced me to play some games differently than normal. I think Microsoft struck gold with the idea. So with this blog (and a thread on the TAG forums), I would like to celebrate Achievements and their Gamerscore-boosting capabilities.

Below I've listed my Top 10 Achievements that I am proud to have earned, as well as an "Honorable Mention". I hope you enjoy, and happy hunting for all those Gamerpoints!

1. Mirror's Edge - Test of Faith: Complete the game without shooting an enemy. (80 points)
I set my goal of earning this Achievement before I picked up the game from EB Games. I was convinced that I could make it through the game using only Faith's running and jumping skills, and that was what I was going to do. The reason I am so happy to unlock the Achievement goes beyond meeting that goal - it is because I went through hours and hours of stress and frustration to get it. There were so many times where I wished I could just shoot back at the annoying Blue bastards that kept filling me with holes as I tried to make my daring escapes. That would have made the entire game so much easier. Alas, that wasn't the style of play that I had in mind. I was scared at one point in the game, where Faith is required to take out an oncoming truck by shooting it with a sniper rifle: I didn't think that I would earn the Achievement, since I had picked up and fired a weapon. It was a huge relief when the credits finally rolled, not only because I was at last finished with playing the game that frustrated me so much, but because the Achivement unlocked. I was incredibly satisfied, and it might be the most satisfying Achievement I have unlocked to date.

2. Halo 3 - Mongoose Mowdown: Splattered an enemy with the mongoose in a ranked free for all playlist. (5 points)
I am mostly proud of this Achievement because of how I ended up earning it. I was playing a Lone Wolves game on Xbox Live, and when it finally loaded up a game (basic Slayer on one of the most dreaded maps, Isolation), I mentioned to the other players in the pre-game lobby that I was trying to get the Mongoose Achievement. Another player told me that he would actually just stop in his tracks and allow me to run him over if I saw him throughout the game. It sounded like it wouldn't be difficult at all, but when we actually started playing, I always seemed to get killed right as I found him. The game dragged on, and when was almost over, I decided to jump on a Mongoose for one last try. With only a couple of seconds to go, I headed toward the upper-middle part of the level (the big hill that leads up to the building where you can find the shotgun). As I was racing up one side of the hill, I was looking everywhere for people to splatter...but I had no luck. Then, as I reached the top of the hill with just a [i]single second[/i] left on the clock, I flew over the crest of the hill as that guy was running up the opposite side of the hill. It was completely random and I couldn't see him coming, but I managed to score a direct hit and splattered him, which sent him flying across the map. I got the Achievement and sent him a message thanking him for offering to help me out.

3. Skate - Fanboy: Beat all the Pros. (50 points)
This was one of the most frustrating Achievements I ever set my mind to, and I put a serious chunk of time into one of the game's Pro Challenges. The last one I finished, which earned me this Achievement, was Rob Dyrdek's Pro Challenge. In this challenge you are told to perform a 360 Flip and land in a Crooked Grind on a cement bench while avoiding "Big Black" as he patrols around the bench. This challenge was incredibly hard for a couple of reasons: I hadn't played Skate in a long time when I attempted it, so my skills were lacking. I had a lot of trouble doing a 360 Flip, and I also had a tough time setting up a good approach toward the bench so that I had enough speed and could jump high enough to perform the trick before landing into the grind. It probably took me five hours of relentless attempts, but I finally unlocked this Achievement and then put Skate into retirement, just before Skate 2 came out earlier this year.

4. Skate - X-Games Gold: Earn Gold in both X-Games events. (20 points)
For as much effort as I put into this, the 20 points that went toward my Gamerscore after I finally unlocked the Achievement felt like a cheap reward. Still, it was nice to finally put it all to rest. While I coasted through the Street Challenge, I had previously been stuck on earning a gold medal in the X-Games Mega Ramp challenge. This was mostly because I had no idea what tricks earned the most points from the stingy judges. I will admit that I cheated a little with this one: with all my frustrations, I went online and consulted an FAQ. It told me to perform 900s with tweaked grab tricks when I caught air off of the first ramp and also when I soared off of the quarterpipe at the end of the run. I usually tried to do Christ Air Backflips and other silly tricks, but I could never earn a score higher than 75 or get above third place. Finally I tried the 900/tweak grabs that the FAQ mentioned, and I coasted through the competition. I won with scores no lower than low- to mid-90's in each of my multiple runs.

5. Dead Space - One Gun: Beat the game using only the Plasma Cutter. (40 points)
Dead Space is one of my favorite Xbox 360 games to date, and I enjoyed earning almost all of the Achievements that it offered. My absolute favorite, however, is "One Gun" - which is unlocked when you complete the entire game using its most basic firearm. I didn't have much trouble surviving in Dead Space, even on my first attempt - but it definitely required more patience and skill to take down some of the bigger, more threatening enemies than it would have been if I just used the game's stronger weapons. Therefore, earning this Achievement was very refreshing. It also made inventory management much simpler - after all, if you only use one weapon, most of the ammo pick-ups you find are for that weapon you never really feel like you are running out of ammo!

6. Grand Theft Auto IV - Under The Radar: Fly underneath the main bridges in the game that cross water with a helicopter. (40 points)
Although this Achievement is pretty easy to do if you just spend the time doing it and you know where all of the main bridges are, I thought that it was particularly fun to just fly with the helicopters in general. I was pretty good at controlling them, so finding all of the bridges was the only real challenge. The reason I was so happy with this Achievement was because it took me quite some time to find all of the bridges. When I finally did, I forgot about the frustration and was never upset about all of the times I crashed in the middle of the water and had to swim all the way back to land.

7. Grand Theft Auto IV - One Man Army: You survived a 6 star wanted level for a full 5 minutes. (40 points)
Like the Mongoose Mowdown Achievement for Halo 3, the main reason that I was so happy to unlock this Achievement was because of the method I used to earn it. I had tried to get the 6-star wanted level and survive by staking out rooftops, secluded alleyways, and a Cluckin' Bell restaurant, but I just couldn't survive. At one point I lived for 4:55, just five seconds less than the requirement to unlock the Achievement. In the attempt that finally did the trick, I wasn't originally trying to get a 6-star wanted level. I was just running through subways, shooting random people and wasting time. Then I eventually pissed off the police enough to get the 6 stars, and decided to run away by going down a subway tunnel. I realized that the police didn't follow me - in fact, the "police circle" didn't even move, and I followed the subway tunnel to the very edge of the flashing circle on my radar. I realized that it had been about two minutes since I "earned" the sixth star, so I sat in a big open area in the tunnel and picked off random hobos until the Achievement unlocked. It was a cheap but effective way to get the Achievement.

8. Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - Grand Champion, Arena: Completed the Arena Questline. (50 points)
One night I sat down with Oblivion and decided that I was going to complete the Arena in one sitting. And with that determination, that's exactly what I did. It took me a couple of hours, but I sliced and diced through everything they could throw at me and became the Grand Champion of the Arena. This Achievement wasn't overwhelmingly satisfying to unlock, but it was one I was particularly happy with when I finally got it. Equally satisfying: becoming the Dark Brotherhood's "Listener" and unlocking that Achievement. I believe that the Dark Brotherhood questline was what made Oblivion so memorable, and their quests were certainly the most interesting out of all of Oblivion's challenges.

9. The Maw - Little Planet of Horrors: Get 100% Eaten in each level. (20 points)
I was particularly happy to unlock this Achievement because I enjoy getting 100% on anything, but also because of how much trouble one of the game's levels was giving me. In the Loofer level of The Maw, I had gotten all the way to the end and I had eaten all but two of the level's creatures. Since I couldn't find the two elusive bastards, I turned around and scouted out the entire level. Keep in mind, Maw moved very slowly as a Loofer - so it took me 30 minutes of searching the level, and I had come up with nothing. Finally, I decided to give up - I just wanted to beat the game and get the Achievement for that. But as I approached the exit, I spotted the two bounty hunter enemies that I had previously stunned with the Loofer lasers near a wall. I walked over to them and ate them, then completed the rest of the game and ate everything without any trouble. It's always nice to get 100%.

10. Dead or Alive 4 - Unlocked "SPARTAN-458": Unlocked the hidden character "SPARTAN-458." (20 points)
Hey, I see that strange look on your face. Now come on - you can't seriously tell me that you didn't think it was totally awesome to be able to play as a SPARTAN in Dead or Alive. At least I did. Remember, this was long before Halo 3 came out, and Halo fans like me were dying for anything Halo-related.


Honorable Mention: Grand Theft Auto IV - Warm Coffee: Successfully date a girl to be invited into her house. (5 points)
I didn't care about this Achievement for any reason other than its name, which plays on the whole "Hot Coffee" fiasco that was spawned by Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and its hidden sexual mini-game. Although this was an incredibly easy Achievement to unlock, I thought that it was hilarious for Rockstar to create an Achievement that rewarded people for doing what essentially got the publisher and their previous game in so much trouble with the world's mindless nay-saying game-haters like Jack Thompson.

The following blog is my first TAG blog, and it is just a re-post from a Facebook Note I wrote today. It is a tribute to the metal band Darkest Hour, metal music, and music in general. I thought it was some of my best writing work to date, so I figured it would be the best thing to put up as my first TAG blog. I hope you enjoy it:

 

I decided that I should make a Note commemorating Darkest Hour: the last note I wrote was about their song "Tranquil", and I had another epiphany-like feeling when I listened to "These Fevered Times" this afternoon. So I would like to explain to you why this is one of the most amazing groups of musicians in the history of the art.

Perhaps it is the warm spring weather that directs my mind back to this band: I purchased their albums "Undoing Ruin" in the springtime in 2006 and "Deliver Us" in the summer of 2007. I wasn't really listening to Darkest Hour very much until lately, but in this personal revival of my love for their music, I  find it amazing how meaningful their songs actually are. John Henry delivers powerful, impacting, and "real" lyrics in every song like a waiter arriving with your favorite meal on a plate encrusted with diamonds. The expert musicianship of every band member is noticeable in each song, from the blistering drums to the soaring guitars. Few bands can achieve the feeling that Darkest Hour provides.

When I listen to "Sound the Surrender", the fourth song on "Undoing Ruin", I feel a vibrant energy that quickly swells from the beginning and rises to a peak so high in the heavens that it is only possible and appropriate for the band to end the song on a blasting note and with a visceral, explosive release of "OHHH!" I can't even listen to the song without finishing it along with Henry; I always do the "OHHH!" with him. It's like an incredibly relieving exhale after an incredibly long period of holding your breath.

I mentioned my love for the song "Tranquil" in my last Facebook Note, and I feel like it must be reaffirmed, because at the moment, I am actually listening to that work of pure art. This song is one of many metal songs that could break that difficult barrier for non-metal fans; it is one that contains incredible strength and indisputably orchestrated beauty. As a bonus, "Tranquil" ends the album "Undoing Ruin" with precisely the same soul-piercing note that it begins with in the opening track, "With A Thousand Words to Say But One". I feel like these two songs are a pair that serve the purpose of opening and ending tracks with brilliant perfection. I feel like "With A Thousand Words" conceptually begins "Undoing Ruin" in such a fantastic way; it initiates the unraveling of the album with powerful imagery that is appropriately "answered", reflected, and exposed later in "Tranquil".

"With A Thousand Words" is one of my all-time favorite Darkest Hour songs, but for many reasons that stretch beyond simply the sound of it. Henry mentions "walking through the rain" in the song, which is made incredibly appropriate by the stormy mood created by the music. I listen to the song, and with vivid visualization, I can picture myself engulfed in it. It is purely dream-like; it creates what I see as a person walking directionless in the rain, deep in thought and reasoning. That man eventually, over the course of his epic, personal journey throughout all of "Undoing Ruin", finally finds his ultimate peace and acceptance in "Tranquil".

I have only mentioned songs from "Undoing Ruin" in this Note, but it would be very unfair to exclude the album "Deliver Us" from this joyous showering of praise that I am delivering the band. "Deliver Us" is just as powerful as "Undoing Ruin", but in a different way. Many of the qualities about Darkest Hour that I mentioned earlier in this Note are more noticeable in the songs of "Deliver Us".

The song "Fire In The Skies" is one of my favorites; it is an explosive, pulse-pounding assault on the aural sense. Like "With A Thousand Words", it has a very vivid mood - only this is one of a blazing fire, rather than a rain storm. Like "With A Thousand Words", the mood is created by the music, supported by the lyrics, and cemented with Henry's vocals. I believe that the song "The Light At The Edge of The World" is an underappreciated masterpiece, with its incredibly deep lyrics taken from a T.S. Eliot poem. "Stand And Receive Your Judgment" is rock-hard and creates Richter-busting earthquakes with its intense and unrelenting energy. "Deliver Us" is an ending song that is riveting to its core; a finale that is emotionally ruthless in its lyrical lashing. It contains a build-up that gradually works its way up a mountain, approaches the edge, and leaps off with the demanding roar of "deliver us".

I have discussed endlessly about my love for this genre of music, but rarely have I reflected so much on the crushing weight of it. What I have done is enveloped myself into a world of sound that contains so much more than sound itself. It is artistic; not just in its state of being as a work of art, but also in its excellence at being such. This is music that stands in a realm of its own, separated far from the meaningless trash that is perpetually supported by the mindless mass. I feel like music has a purpose, and that purpose is shaped and formed personally for each individual, by that individual.

What is its purpose to me? That is easy to explain: music has a story to tell, not just in its actual poetic delivery through lyrics and vocals, but also through the sense of sound. Every song, when crafted well, can have a mood. It can paint a brilliant, colorful picture. It can create a world where, for minutes, you are no longer constrained by the reality that you live in - you are given another glimpse, or a different perspective, or an insightful message. I feel like you must learn how to inject yourself into music to understand its purpose. A song isn't supposed to be a noise, which is the problem I believe exists in the popular music of today. So much of that music is simply noise; soulless noise made by a soulless individual. That isn't the music I listen to. This music is human. It is alive. It is gifted with a validity rather than supported by carelessness, and Darkest Hour is quite possibly the most brilliant example of why this music is so much more than the masses give it credit for.

And with that, I would like to end this very lengthy Note with the lyrics that inspired it. Thank you for reading this, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoy the following message:


"These Fevered Times"

My heart’s been racing with my mind to the finish line of these fevered times.
Struck down again, this turbulence has overcome tranquility.
Pounding the walls inside these thoughts I can’t control,
And shooting through my veins, these heightened senses overwhelming.
Confusion replaces clarity, a neurotic rearrangement.
You know the feeling when down feels up to it’s old tricks again - they're so misleading.

When it hits like a ton of bricks, to the chest, out of breath on the bathroom floor.
And I’ll make light of this night, and night of this day - it’s what I tell myself to sleep when I dream myself awake.


When it hits like a ton of bricks, to the chest, out of breath on the bathroom floor.
And I’ll make light of this night, and night of this day - it’s what I tell myself to sleep when I dream myself awake.